4 days of headline that shouldn't be true but are

BOOM: 'Upscale' DENNY'S Opens In Manhattan...$300 Champagne Breakfast.
(omg)

Minister: US isn’t in the Bible because the Rapture will turn it into
an atheist hellhole

Woman Sentenced To Jail After Gun Went Off In Son's Backpack At School

Florida Man At 'Shoot Straight' Gun Range Wounds Himself And A Friend

Rich White Woman Gets 5 Days Community Service For Stealing $2,000
Worth Of Merchandise
(think of how many YEARS she would serve if she was of color and/or
poor)

Female journos fight back as Kirsten Gillibrand is derided over Senate
sex harassment claims

Louie Gohmert: ‘We Have Barney Fife Running Our Foreign Policy’
(the dumbest ugliest pol in america with iowa's steve king a CLOSE
second but we have to blame the people who vote for them)

Brawl Breaks Out At Wedding After Groom Hits On Pregnant Employee
During Reception...

Peter King Attacks Obama For Wearing Tan Suit During Press Briefing

Mass. mayor: Public schools forced to enroll immigrants with ‘more
wrinkles than I have’

SURVEY: Only half of women can locate vagina on diagram...
FBI produces 'news' radio program...

Companies Marketing Cellphones For 5-Year-Olds...

Minnesota man will file civil rights suit against cops who Tased him
for not identifying himself
(cops over react but you are a dumb ass)

FL mayor badgers atheist at public meeting for not standing for prayer
or Pledge of Allegiance

Iowa professor to protest ‘sissy’ pink visitors’ locker room by holding
‘Million Robot March’

Tea Party gadfly claims his lawsuit against Hamas proves Obama is a
secret Muslim

WA prosecutor investigated for sending wanted felon bikini pics,
helping him elude police

After Ferguson, UN says police brutality against US minorities ‘an
ongoing issue of concern’

Rick Santorum’s plan to destroy Hollywood: Turn churches into movie
theaters

MO company offering adorable ladies pocket shotguns

Neuroscientists say it’s possible to overwrite bad memories

Emotions connected to memories can be rewritten, making bad events in
the past seem better…

‘The next battlefront’: Google unveils airborne delivery drone
prototypes
‘
Devil worshipers confident satanic black mass will go on...
(thank God)

Man claims to be 'Dark Lord', burns Bible outside mission...

WATER WHISPERER: TEEN TRAINS FISH TO DO TRICKS...

Motorcyclist Brags to Cops He Hit 185 Mph in Chase

Dog Turns on Stove, Which Then Sets Laptop Ablaze

Slice of Princess Diana's Wedding Cake Auctioned
(remember elaine on seinfeld eating very old cake?)

1K-Pound Alligator Caught in Alabama Sets World Record

3rd Tourist Cited for Flying Drone in Yellowstone

Museum to Display 6,500-Year-Old Human Skeleton

Mystery of Death Valley's Moving Rocks Solved

Human Skull Donated to Goodwill Store in Texas

Penn. man sentenced for suffocating girlfriend after failing to kill
her in 115 mph car crash

Texas Border Patrol agent fires at armed militia member while chasing
border crossers

WATCH: Bounty hunter attacks woman with Taser as her family arrives
home from church

Elderly couple and their two disabled adult children found shot to
death in Chicago suburb

Washington conservative think tank to boycott Labor Day by working
Monday
("think" tank? this is thinking?)