Movies you'll be seeing in `09
From the (apparently conservative) site Big Hollywood a look at what liberal Hollywood will be offering in 2009. A long list and very funny. I agree that movies are not only schlockier than ever they're preachier, too. I was on the treadmill the other day and caught about fifteen minutes of an old West Wing (I know, tv not movies but the same thing). Holy pontification, Batman--three way-too-serious characters standing around a table firing platitudes at each other. I remember I couldn't ever get into it when it as new. Looking at it now it belongs on Mystery Science Theater. Here are three samples of what you'll be seeing in the "octoplex."
Movies Are Your Best Entertainment Value
by Iowahawk (David Burge) Copyright 2009 Big Hollywood
Incident at Amity: Steven Spielberg directs this cerebral CGI-heavy remake of ‘Jaws’ slated for summer release. Insiders say the 34-year update will feature “additional points of view” and “be less judgmental about sharks.” Starring Willam H. Macy as the anti-shark fundamentalist, and Russell Crowe as the Great White.
Dark Spinach: Brooding, conflicted superhero sailor man (Matt Damon) must face his own inner demons and canned vegetable addiction to save his anorexic lover (Gwyneth Paltrow) in the violent screen adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel. Featuring Mickey Rourke as Bluto.
High School Musical 5: Donner Pass Prom Party. Music, love, and cannibalism are in the air as the Wildcat gang gets stranded in the High Sierras. Featuring the hit Zach Cody - Melissa Vanessa duet, “I Never Thought It Could Taste So Good.”