Saturday, May 07, 2011
The Legend of Forrest Tucker's Private Parts - Yes Indeed
Milton Berle is legendary for being well-endowed. But apparently Forrest Tucker's endowments challenged Berele's. This subject was never brought up on F Troop of course (yes I was an F Troop fan because of Larry Storch).
Here's a another swipe from Mark Evanier's News From Me. For one thing it's good to see Steve Allan again and for another there's a very funny outtake from F Troop with Tucker swearing. I know it's all childish macho crap but it IS funny. Just scroll down a few stories when you link to it.
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The Legend of Forrest Tucker. Too funny, Ed.
I understand Humphrey Bogart and Chico Marx were members of the same club. No pun intended.
Back when I was a wee slip of a lass (oh, alright, it was the 1980s), rumors abounded that Tom Selleck could put Forrest Tucker, Milton Berle, and Gary Cooper to shame.
Anyway, from a woman's p.o.v., I suppose there are worse rumors a man could have floating around about himself.
Back in the early 1970s, ESQUIRE ran a profile of the surviving Ritz Brother (I believe it was Harry). A good length of the article dealt with this very topic, with Harry claiming that he, Tucker and John Ireland were the founding members of what he dubbed "The Long Schlongs Club", complete with details about what they needed to do before they could put on a bathing suit and venture out on a public beach. Thank goodness we've outgrown all that. . .
A possibly apocryphal tale:
Forrest Tucker used to follow up his round of golf at the Beverly Hills Country Club with a massage.
Tuck would drink quite a bit while on the course, and so would fall asleep on the table.
At this point, a waiting crowd would be ushered in to view "the eighth wonder of the world", as one longtime friend of Tuck's put it.
The following exchange was once purportedly overheard:
"Now there's the number one tourist attraction in the West. F*ck the Grand Canyon!"
"You know, I'll bet he could ..."
Well, the country club part is true, anyway ...
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