Saturday, May 02, 2015

The great Ken Levine What Hollywood REALLY means when it says...

http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/
Reader Eric J. has a Friday Question worthy of a Saturday post.
How about list of "Bullshit Hollywood Terms" writers should be familiar with? 

Most of the real creativity in Hollywood goes into positive spin. Here are some industry expressions and what they really mean:

Hospitalized because the actor was simply feeling dizzy due to a medication he was taking for an ear infection” – drunk

“Hiatus” – cancelled

Good Exit Numbers” – DOA at the boxoffice

Highly qualified” – knows somebody

“They’re still good friends” – the ugly divorce settlement is still pending.

“They’re just good friends” – they’re humping nine times a day

“I want to spend more time with my family” –fired.

“I want to explore other exciting opportunities” – fired

“Creative differences” – fired

“Parting by mutual agreement” – fired

“We think the script needs a fresh eye” – the director will now destroy your screenplay

“They have a lot of respect for each other” – they despise each other

“No comment” -- he did it

“Fielding offers” – unemployed

“Projects in development” -- unemployed

“Looking into financing” – unemployed

“Tom Cruise is interested” – I’m a really bad liar

“Proactive” – active

“She’s a perfectionist” – she’s a bitch

“Entry level position” -- slave labor

“Thanks for coming by” – no sale, I hated it.

“I really liked it” – thanks for coming by.

“I really loved it!” -- it got good coverage

“He’s in a meeting” – you’re not important enough to talk to.

“Back end” – money you’ll never see

It just needs a little polishing” -- page one rewrite

We’re pleased with the demographics” – the ratings are shit

“Commands a great deal of respect” – he’s a fucking nightmare

“Do you have a card?” – I want to get away from you but don’t want to appear rude.

“Zitcom” – Any half hour on the Disney Channel

Exhaustion” – overdose

“A private matter” – a public scandal

I’ll give it a read” – I’m throwing it away

“The studio is really behind it” – it’s going straight to DVD.

“He’s taught me so much” – I’ll never work with that asshole again

Freelance” – unemployed

High concept” – gimmicky

“Actor’s Director” – he can’t shoot action movies

“Director’s Director” – his movies haven’t made a nickel.

“Emmy winning writer” -- blogger

By Ken Levine at 6:00 AM 


1 comment:

Richard S. Wheeler said...

Familiar first name plus baby, as in Dick, baby. Someone I've never met.

Very good list.