Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The Truth about Chuck Norris

Cinema Retro carries a story tonight about the Chuck Norris folks being unhappy because a spoof book called The Truth About Chuck Norris has been written.

Here's Cinema Retro:

Chuck Norris is sure in the news a lot lately. He's now suing author Ian Spector in an attempt to get his new book The Truth About Chuck Norris withdrawn from distribution. Norris' lawsuit also lists Penguin publishers as co-defendants. At first glance, it might seem that the martial arts icon is being a bit thin-skinned. Spector's book is an obvious farce that centers on web-based Paul Bunyan-like tall tales relating to his image as a seemingly invincible action star. Among the witticisms found in the book:

• Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
• When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur.
• Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.
• Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.

Ed here: It doesn't say much for Chuck Norris' fans if they believe this. Nor for Norris himself. (I keep rubbing my cell phone against my own beard but so far no luck.)


JD Rhoades said...

Is it perhaps a trademark-type thing, i.e. using the Norris 'brand" for profit without Chuck's permission?

I think it'd be protected as parody, but there are some very fine lines in this area of law.

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

I rubbed a cell phone against my beard. Nothing happened, except that the guy who owned the phone got all pissy and whipped out some pepper spray.

Maybe if I had a cowboy hat...

Graham Powell said...

To compensate for the size of his manhood, Chuck Norris drives a Mini Cooper.

Chris said...

Chuck Norris doesn't need any lawyers to make his case -- the force of his stare renders the opposing counsel useless, and the stenographer pregnant.

Anonymous said...

And boy are the male stenographers particularly annoyed by this.

But we wouldn't want to get Norris chasing Ed, or he or Ms. Carol will be forced to scare CN away by playing back WALKER clips, a la LATE NIGHT.

But, then again, CN probably Likes them.